Know When to Talk and When to Shut Up

The conventional thinking is that extroverts make the best salespeople. The more extroverted they are, they better they are at schmoozing people.

Well, there is now evidence that the conventional thinking is wrong. In fact, being a good salesperson (which I’m going to define in this context as being able to sell yourself to someone you want to date) requires skills from both extroverts and introverts.

It all comes down to balance. You can’t connect with someone if the entirety of your interaction is you talking to them. Nor can you connect with someone if the entirety of your interaction is them talking to you.

How many times have you dealt with a raging extrovert who yammered on for 10 minutes non-stop about a story that you had zero interest in?

This person might be energetic and enthusiastic, but if ultimately, they’re the only ones talking, and what they’re talking about is of no relevance to you, you’re not going to feel any connection to them at all.

On the flip side (assuming the majority of the people reading this will lean towards having a hard time talking, rather than having a hard time shutting up), how many times have you tried to keep a conversation going by peppering the other person with questions?

Now, you get to do all the listening, but you’re not giving the other person a chance to get to know you.

Connection is only built when exchanges of information flow freely between both parties. Remember when I wrote about “me, too!” moments last time? Well, “me, too!” moments can only happen if both parties are both listening to and sharing with each other.

Okay, so how do you know when to talk and when to shut up? Well, that takes practice and experience …

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