Last time, I talked about using “yes, and …” to keep a conversation going. This time, I’m going to talk about something you can and should combine with “yes, and …”
When two relative strangers are getting to know each other, their connection is strengthened every time they have a mutual “me, too!” moment.*
A “me, too!” moment occurs when one person says something, and the other person realizes that they are/do/like/have the same thing, and they exclaim, “Me, too!”
Then they talk about whatever it is that they just learned they share, and that ideally segues into even more “me, too!” moments. Soon, these two people realize they’re soulmates.
The “me, too!” moment is so simplistic that (lazy) rom com writers often use it as a tool to indicate that two people are meant for each other. Check out this clip from Friends and notice the multiple “me, too!” moments starting at 1:45:
By virtue of how much Chandler and Kathy (who is dating Chandler’s roommate) have in common, we the audience are led to believe that these two will end up together — or should be together.
So yes, we’re talking about a Hollywood hack technique here, but it really does apply to real life.
The only snafu is that the “me, too!” moment isn’t something you can consciously do. You can’t just manufacture “me, too!” moments when you’re trying to attract someone.
(Well … you can. Sort of. But that invariably entails lying and making up stories about yourself just to build an artificial connection to someone. I don’t recommend that. But hey … it’s your life.)
What you can do is use “me, too!” moments to gauge how well your conversation is going. And when you do catch one, that’s the perfect time for a “yes, and …” You’ve found something in common with the other person. Now, build on this connection and see where it takes you. Don’t just say, “Oh hey, that’s cool,” and move onto the next topic.
So keep an eye out for any “me, too!” moments that pop up the next time you’re talking to someone.
*The “me, too!” moment I’ve coined here is not to be confused with the #MeToo hashtag, which is a far more serious topic. I couldn’t think of a better way to describe the “me, too!” moment, though, aside from exactly those two words. I suppose if I were British, I could’ve called it the “I, as well” moment … but, ya know, it’s just not as catchy. Plus, me not British. Either way, #MeToo is relevant to Social Savvy Sage, and I will definitely be writing about sex and consent at some point.